The Truth of Suffering: Part Two
So much cultural conditioning around “the palace” is based on an illusion that “success” is getting it all together and keeping it all together. An endless pursuit to “arrive” at the right house, job, relationship, status, and all the rest, for permanent fulfillment.
This can create all kinds of layers of suffering as we measure ourselves against an impossible (and illusory) standard, and make us feel as though we’ve failed at life to the extent things don’t work out that way. It’s so cruel.
Or, it can set us up for disappointment when we do get things together, but then that changes, time and again, often beyond our control. It’s not all up to us.
The truth is, things are changing all the time.
They come together and fall apart based on innumerable causes and conditions: the results of our own actions, interdependece with others, collective actions, some from long ago---just the world we’re living in.
We’re always in an evolving, dynamic, dance with life, navigating constant flow.
Buddhism calls this “impermanence”. It’s neither good, nor bad. It just means things are always changing, and nothing lasts.
To the extent we embrace this, we’re less locked up in habitual patterns and have more access to our wisdom. We can adapt and work with life as skillfully as we can, doing our best and making our best decisions, which is of course very important.
What we do matters tremendously for ourselves, others, our families, and beyond, as it’s our actions which shape our lives and co-create the state of our world. We talk about that as karma.
Embracing the fluidity and ultimately the utter openness within change can be liberating, and the way life changes can be a teacher of that for us. An opportunity to open, let go, be free.
After all, how solid or real could anything have ever been if it doesn’t last?
To the extent we hang on and struggle however, we experience “the suffering of change”, and “all pervasive suffering”, which I’ll describe.
This is why often the craving and ignorance kleshas are considered the root of cyclic existence or samsara.
It’s the solidification of ignorance, or the notion that things can actually last, and the craving of always trying to make it work out, which drives cycles of suffering and blocks our natural freedom.
The Suffering of Change
The suffering of change encapsulates pretty much every difficult life situation we didn’t talk about in the last article. It’s described as:
-Not being able to get what we wanted
-Getting what we wanted, then losing it
-Getting what we didn’t want
That pretty much sums up the whole suffering of the human condition!
Not being able to get what we want can be things like not being able to find love with a fitting partner, not being able to find aligned and meaningful work, not being able to own a home, or not being able to attain our goals.
It refers to the endless variety of ways that life didn’t arrive as we wanted, because it’s not the way all the causes and conditions lined up.
Getting what we wanted, then it changing, or losing it, refers to all the times that things basically worked out, but then became something painful, or lost altogether.
For instance, many people study for years in advanced educations and work very hard to land prestigious jobs, then find themselves trapped in unsustainable systems and burn out. It’s awful.
Or, we find love, and then have a bad breakup, or our partner dies.
In my case, I’d practiced and studied hard and had a teaching position at a monastery on an actual island paradise (Cape Breton, Nova Scotia), was leading residencies and beginning to be surrounded by thriving community, then got sick and had to leave.
The conditions aligned for as long as they did, but then that changed.
Getting what we didn’t want refers to all the ways we encounter painful events and situations in life.
We have a difficult boss or coworker, a rough job situation, or in one or another way, calamity ensues.
We’ve all had countless experiences like this in life, in an infinite variety.
The sad part is, the suffering of change feels so intensely personal, as if it’s all up to us and we’ve succeeded or failed to the extent things have worked out the way we wanted, or not.
Karma and interdependence means that things are the way they are at any given moment due to a truly innumerable number of different causes and conditions, none of which are solid and lasting.
For instance, in relationship, by definition there are other people involved. We each have our own conditionings, our own life circumstances, that bring us together for as long as those last, but as they change, and we change, they take us apart, or we die.
Or with work, there are limitless things that have shaped the field we work in, what drew us to it and the way we do our job, the organization we work for, or the landscape we navigate if we’re self-employed. Then there are all the things that have shaped the people we work with, their needs and wants, etc, etc, etc.
These all come together to produce our present situation, which we very much experience according to our own karma and conditioning.
This present, however, is wide open---and where we go from here is up to us.
All Pervasive Suffering
Things are changing all the time with no real lasting security. As we’re attempting to get by and work things out, we experience a constant state of anxiety or a fundamental unease or stress.
We call this “all pervasive suffering”.
This is perhaps more apparent than ever in today’s world as the collective karmic situation is quite difficult. The mass amalgamation of too many centuries of actions based on greed, ignorance, and aggression have co-created a situation where our environment is out of balance, our economies are strained under oligarchy, our technology devastates personal and social wellness, the pace of life is tearing apart relationships, most organizations (and jobs) are feeling the burn, our health suffers, and there’s conflicts and war.
We’ll talk a lot more about all of that when we get to the classes on karma, as this is quite firmly within the Buddhist worldview and actually it has quite a lot to say about our present state of things.
In the midst of this, many of us find ourselves in a constant state of turmoil, just trying to keep up and get through our day, just trying to get by. We may be overwhelmed, numb, exhausted, or in a state of angst as we don’t feel aligned and know something is wrong.
We’re not wrong. This is “all pervasive suffering”.
Basically, so long as we’re in samsara, or cyclic existence based on afflictive emotions (klesha) and actions (karma) that arise from them, there’s a constant state of fundamental suffering.
As well, it’s very difficult to not also be creating the causes of further suffering, as we’re complicit within these cycles for our day to day existence.
At the root, we experience all pervasive suffering to the extent that we’re disconnected or unaligned with the buddha nature, and with the constant state of flow which is the impermanence of life.
When we get to the fourth noble truth we’ll talk extensively about our path being healthier conduct or actions (both personally and collectively) that are less harmful, more helpful, and true to form with the buddha nature of all of life.
We’ll also talk about how meditation and wisdom help us release the root causes of suffering, and set our minds free.
For now, in concluding the first noble truth, I hope it’s validating to our experience in that it’s essentially saying that yes, we suffer. As opposed to, “there’s just something wrong with us but everyone else is fine”.
More than anything, I hope it’s an invitation not only to accepting our suffering, but to embracing it, with friendliness to ourselves, and as a catalyst for compassion for the countless others who are right there with us in one or another form.
It’s our buddha nature shining through that feels heartbreak at suffering and longs for everyone’s freedom---and that’s what carries us along the way.